I’ve Been Asking For Help More, and It Really Has Eased My Anxiety
“Would it be possible for you to go with me when I get it? Or meet me there, rather? It will be at 5:30, but I’m going to the pharmacy right after I get off work at 5. I understand if it’s not possible for you. I’m feeling like I could use some moral support when I go, so I just wanted to ask.”
I sent that text to my cousin a week before receiving my first dose of the COVID-19 vaccine. Even though millions of people have been safely vaccinated for COVID-19, and I’m not allergic to any of the vaccine’s ingredients, I was still nervous about my appointment. It probably has something to do with past medical trauma I’ve experienced (even teeth cleanings and routine eye exams make me nervous), as well as how polarizing the vaccine has become in this part of the country. I had already decided I wouldn’t tell my parents I was getting the vaccine until after my second dose, because I didn’t think they would approve. With all of this in my mind, I knew having the moral support of a trusted loved one would make the experience less anxiety-inducing for me, so I did something that’s typically been really difficult for me: I asked for help.
I’ve been asking for help way more lately, and it’s been so good for my mental health. Last May, I asked my sister to metaphorically hold my hand while I went through the process of remotely cashing out a 401(k) — something I’d never done before and had quite a bit of anxiety around — and her presence made the task far less stressful. A few weeks later, I asked her to help me activate my new phone, partly because I was worried I’d somehow set it up incorrectly, and partly because anxiety can make even the simplest tasks feel big. Since then, I’ve asked family and friends for help with other anxiety-inducing tasks, and their support never ceases to ease my mind — at least somewhat.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my life and I practice finding joy on even my most anxious days, but managing anxiety is a near-constant battle for me, and it’s been this way for as long as I can remember. I know it’s made harder by the fact that — other than the two months of Talkspace I managed to pay for back in 2017 — I’ve never been able to afford the “luxury” of therapy or anti-anxiety medication. I’m hopeful the day will come when everyone (including me) can access therapy and life-changing meds, regardless of their income and socioeconomic background. But for now, I’m working with a limited toolbox. As it turns out, asking for help is a fantastic tool, and it’s free.